we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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