So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
