Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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