I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
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Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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