just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
