I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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