u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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