I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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