Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
