Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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