Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
