An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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