Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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