Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
