Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
