Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
