No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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