i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
