you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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