i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
