I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
