I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
