just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize