she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
