so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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