my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
