He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
