ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
