I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
