Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
