If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
