i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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