I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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