Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
