dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its not stalking. its research.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
