Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
