Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
