The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
