who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
