I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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