dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
