strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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