I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
