we have pet lesbian snakes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I intend to get homeless drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
