I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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