I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
