wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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