Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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