I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
