stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize