I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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