We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
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Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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