Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
