The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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