Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.

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  (541): Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system. http://tfl.nu/mobk
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (530)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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  (203): I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now. http://tfl.nu/m857
  Replies (12) Good night (4448) Bad night (736)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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  (773): Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes. http://tfl.nu/41f8
  Replies (48) Good night (6010) Bad night (1198)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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  (614): He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick http://tfl.nu/nn0g
  Replies (19) Good night (949) Bad night (4174)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.

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  (252): I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet. http://tfl.nu/v8co
  Replies (11) Good night (4881) Bad night (1085)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night

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  (608): I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night http://tfl.nu/nzfl
  Replies (23) Good night (6113) Bad night (1050)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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  (404): considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out. http://tfl.nu/gm4o
  Replies (14) Good night (1348) Bad night (3210)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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  (224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e
  Replies (6) Good night (1758) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

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  (407): I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/a28b
  Replies (9) Good night (2956) Bad night (865)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (1944) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1381)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!

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  (205): A beer is a heart your wish makes!!! http://tfl.nu/w148
  Replies (4) Good night (1312) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.

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  (302): Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird. http://tfl.nu/awda
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.

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  (612): You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms. http://tfl.nu/grmf
  Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (251)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie

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  (717): Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie http://tfl.nu/cc1l
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (243)

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