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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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• (305): View more from Florida

  you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks

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• (714): View more from California

  She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You need a twittervention. You're better than this.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you

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• (714): View more from California

  I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.

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