Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow

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(928): View more from Arizona

note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.

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(905): View more from Ontario

It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men

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