i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
