PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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