Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
