she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
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he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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