The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
