so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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