I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
