I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
