dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
